in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
