So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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