sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize