I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
