So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
