The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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