I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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