Can i not drive my cunt home
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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