...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize