If i come over, it means nothing
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
