U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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