google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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