suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Randomize