I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
