I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
