Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
