last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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