I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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