He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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