My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
