My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
