yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
