You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
