I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
