i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
