So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
