I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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