I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I could make wine with my vomit
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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