i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
