Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
