Sry I called you an 8
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
