Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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