garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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