I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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