haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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