Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
