Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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