her vagine was all disorganized.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's never too late to be topless.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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