I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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