I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
