Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Everything about him screamed your future.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
