No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
