True but thats because hes a fetus.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
