He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
tell me about the fingering
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