I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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