All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
