This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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