..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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