I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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