my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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