I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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