id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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