Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
