I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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