at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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