The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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