I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
is it fun? or sober?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
