last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize