I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
