how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
