A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
