Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
