May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
