Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
