I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
