it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
you made out with another girl for some wings
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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