I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
