What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
